trolls, comics, and middle school poems

so claire and i went home to jerz for a super special funday with mom and her friend dawn in new york... a trip to see THE DAILY SHOW! boy-oh-boyeeee was it funfunfun!


we waited on line for a couple hours to get in, mom claire and dawn chit-chatted away, while yours truly straight-nerded out by absorbing face/mind in one of many new comic book obsessions PREACHER brought to you from the fabulous writer/creator garth ennis and sick ass artist steve dillon. seriously the best comic i've read so far. straight up crazy. here is my fav character ARSEFACE who attempted suicide because of crazy obsession with kurt cobain:


this new dork-o-riffic obsession formed a couple months ago when the one the only timothy john arnold bequeathed to me THE WALKING DEAD. zombies rule! changed my life and murtalyzed my wallet. seriously comics are MAAAAAAD expensive. and not like i've got all this extra cash rollin around to support the habit. but... i......can't....... stop!! but luckily timmy leant me his entire collection whilst on tour to keep me busy. okok, back to jonny stewart.

so show ruled. mom claire and i were out-of-control ridiculous. during the enthusiastic little pep-talk intro before the show, we were told to laugh extra hard and ludicrously for proper studio audience laughing. so even though the chuckles were genuine (man is funny as shit!) we definitely took it to a whooole other level. claire and i kept trying to laugh loud as all hell and when no one else was laughing so we could pick out our laughs when we went home and watched later. but alas, we heard nothing. wah wahhhh.

tom hanks was the guest du jour. when we left the studio we saw mad creepy people running full speed with that thing you do and castaway posters and shit. so mom was all, "oooh! let's go see tommy!" so we waited around the back with mom excitedly waving her cell phone at every single person exiting the building. claire was so embarrassed ha! she was all, "come on mom... i'm hungry..." so we saw tom, very anti-climactic. kindof weird actually. must be so bazaar being that famous! (not that i'll let that stop me! bring it on!!) here's back of tom's head and all the swarmers:



so we ate mexican food claire drank giant bucket of margaritas saw kimi and biclops had organic beverages went home watched daily show had a beer read comics went to bed.

next morning woke up and whilst adjusting laundry in basement i rolled over to the storage corner and found some real jems. JEMS I TELL YOU! firstly i found a bag filled with old middle school journals. so goddamn funny. but mostly just depressing. i read through all of them on the ride back to philly and what the fuck?! high school was so whack. the shit that was important to me then was so laaaaaame. literally every entry was all, "why doesn't XXXXXX like me??? i hate XXXXX!! he's like so stupid!" over and over and over again. and tons of, "mom's so mean! i'm grounded AGAIN! wahwahwahhh!"oh it was horrifying.

i did find a journal that i kept during our first trip to russia with dad. it was so awesome. here's a little excerpt from DAY 1: AUGUST 5th, 1996:

I'm on the plane now. It's been 2 1/2 hours last time i asked dad, which was maybe 15 min. ago. I'm not sure what the movie is supposed to be, but the little Delta Magazine said it starts 4 hrs. into the flight. Geez this is a long plane ride! I think it's the longest one I've ever been on. Yup--London was 6 or something. This one's going to be 8-9 hrs. It won't seem very long if I sleep. I'm not tired, though. Dad's asleep, I had to wake him up to get this pen. Hmmm...Let's see. I've gone to the bathroom 4 times 2-day. Once at the house in NH, once at the car-park place & 2 times on this plane. Now there's some dumb movie (Discovery Channel) about the Olympic Athletes of the world. It was cool for about 6 minutes. Then it grew boring. I read cosmo for the 1st 2 hours of the plane. I was so into it. Next, I'm going to read my Archie & Jughead comic book which I bought. It looks super cool. I'm sitting next to this really weird Russian man who's giving me the creeps! He doesn't say a thing. La La La, I am bored. Claire tried to talk to me across the aisle, but some ugly-ass dude got in the way. So, the both of us are trying to dodge around his butt to make eye-contact. As soon as he got the hint (5 million years later) I found out she only wanted to tell me she was bored. So I gave her my Cosmo, & she shut up. Well, I gotta go. If anything exciting happens later, I'll write it. Bye!

ha! fifteen-year old ali. oh boy oh boy. i bet we were so annoying. in later entries i was writing how disgusting the food was and how awesome "micky-deees" was. i think we literally ate mc donald's every day because we were major brat-a-licios american creeps. hee heee.

we also found THESE in mom's basement:



yeah. claire and i used to collect trolls. i don't know what to say. trolls are whack-a-doodle-doo. but! i am already thinking of all the silly fucked up shit i can do with them all. haHA! just you wait.

time for work. ali out!