confessions of a quitter: part one.

so jessica huester breezed into town from sunny bunny los angeles for the hollydays. we went out for some beverages last evening at the standard tap and proceeded to get an excellent drunk on. jess recalled when she first met me this blog on myspace about my quitting smoking. needless to say, anyone who knows this pathetic chain-smoker, i am still miserably addicted and involved in an abusive co-dependant relationship with phillip morris. so this got me thinking. when was this alleged myspace blog? and when was the last time i attempted quitting? within one-and-a-half minutes i had my answer.

Friday, May 27, 2005

nicorette totally blows

so this is my 17th attempt at quitting smoking and i'm the fucking worst at it. why is it that i can find the lamest excuse to have one? goddamn sin sticks. i know i look incredibly cool smoking and it feels oh so right, but i think i really want it this time. too many reasons to quit. number one- the "i'm not a chicken, you're a turkey" commercial finally got to me. number two- dan won't let me sing in any bands with him until i quit completely, because i can't wail to my full potential anymore. and dan's my ride to super-stardom. number three- i'm all out of money, and i could be spending that 5 dollars a day on feeding myself instead. it all makes sense and i understand and i want it but right now i'm totally dying for one of those delicious motherfuckers, i've knawed off both my arms in an extreme nicotene fit and am now typing with my tongue. basically, I'M IN HELL.

then looking through my comments i saw that after first failure, i made a second unsuccessful attempt on new years eve. i think i only made it three days if i remember correctly. la-hoo-sa-herrr. peter wayne burton (the 'urkel' to jess huester's 'laura') put it nicely, "nicorette only blows because you suck - literally. then, coincidentally, you blow too."

so here's attempt number 19? today begins day number four. got tha nicorette. (ninjarette) made it through a night of drinking some serious wine, which always seems to be the hardest part. i'm definitely older, maybe i'm a little wiser too. let's see how we dooooo dooooooo do do do. ah!

wish me luck!